Poetry Tuesday: Marriage

Posted on | February 12, 2013 | No Comments

My mother used to have a book of poems by Khalil Gibran that I would read through as a kid, and I remember loving the fact that each chapter had a topic such as 'love,' 'war,' 'children,' etc.  I browsed the same book tonight and was a bit surprised that it interested me as a child, and that I could understand it as well.   Props to my mother!  The poem below resonated with me today.  I hope you enjoy as well.

Guest post

Posted on | August 27, 2012 | 1 Comment

A guest post I wrote was just published over at my friend Mel's blog, Mad Passions.  We decided on a little Q&A to get to know me a little bit.  I really enjoyed writing it & it helped me get a very introspective look into my parenting style, thoughts on birth and now being a mother.

Check it out here. And adore pictures of her son Connor while you're at it!

My thoughts on oridinary life

Posted on | September 5, 2010 | 1 Comment

On the road to find out

Posted on | August 16, 2010 | 1 Comment

the margins of my book

Posted on | July 25, 2010 | 3 Comments

on one hand i'm walking

Games

Posted on | April 7, 2010 | 1 Comment

I'm terribly sorry for the lack of posting, I am ashamed!  Lately I have turned to notebooks of my past, leading to nostalgia and warmth.  So now may I present to you my past, written five years ago almost to the day. It only seems fitting.

We walk in. You reassure me the work you can do - the walls, carpet, and life you can change. I need no pledge, no declaration of any kind. I can see you & me so clearly. Countertops made only for the pleasure of our late nights lounges. A porch where we can lay like children astounded by the lights & colors our lonely sky creates. A floor for scrabble, coffee, and our flawless Oreos. I want to make love behind a curtain and live in your eyes all the while.

We will dance in the living room. James Taylor will inundate the room & the dog will find ways to trip me and smile the beautiful way only a canine can. She will think we were playing a game & I will simply laugh. I laugh knowing she is right; we’re this game of phenomenal outcome. We’re shoots and ladders with no shoots. We’re Monopoly and Life with infinite spins and shakes and a vast board to play on.

We are limitless.

arise

Posted on | March 31, 2010 | 1 Comment

you're there every
so often; when the
wind shifts a certain
way or i drive on
a country road. and
it's those moments
when i cannot breathe.
i crave intensity, 
knowing how real
things once were.
but i open my eyes and
i realize that is a
once owned naiveté
i learned from you.

now yearn for me like i once did with you.

and i, well i will gleam.

Essential facts of life

Posted on | March 1, 2010 | 1 Comment

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment; that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life in which he has imagines, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.  He will put some things behind, will pass an invisible boundary; new, universal, and more liberal laws will begin to establish themselves around and within him; or the old laws be expanded, and interpreted in his favor in a more liberal sense, and he will live with the license of a higer order of beings.  In proportion as he simplifies his life, the laws of the universe will appear less complex, and solitude will not be solitude, nor poverty poverty, nor weakness weakness.  If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them."

Madame Bovary

Posted on | November 13, 2009 | 3 Comments

I kicked a habit.  I suppose it was like a smoker giving up that last drag or the junkie with her scratched skin.  You were (are) this deranged and detrimental drug.  I look from afar sometimes & ponder.  I question where I would be in life if we had never met.  Would I be here, on the other side of the country with the big trees and the rain?  Would I have ever met B?  I suppose I should thank you, because I often think not.

My Autumn

Posted on | October 28, 2009 | No Comments

There's something about autumn.

There isn't growth, just cold and wet, our mother inundated by clouds. The colors are short lived yet breathtaking. It's predictable, never falters, comes for me despite my not asking. It's simply beautiful & sad, warning of the season to come. We have this love & hate relationship.

But she has something I need: stability, something predictable in this silly body of mine. This sack of bones and meat, well she is ready to fight; wanting to defy the odds of youth & what the books say, she just won't listen, earmuffs secured indefinitely. I'm starting to like autumn more & more.

Fucker

Posted on | October 20, 2009 | No Comments

It's his style.

Like hearing an old song,
the one you used to
scream out the open windows
of your rusted car
on summer nights.
The tune fades
right before the
chorus you used to
cry just humming.
And it's gone,
taken somehow
without warning.

Don't treat me like
I am something
that happened to you.

Listen

Posted on | October 18, 2009 | No Comments

I know you

Posted on | October 16, 2009 | No Comments

I want to stay the same, I think, it hasn't been long enough to change yet. I haven't been me long enough to let myself go.

Then I realize I hold on to me because I hold on to you, you are a pole and life is a hurricane and in order to live, I think, I need you. I am you, you are me, we are one. Were one. These past tenses are arduous but I never want to give in. Everything is present or future, happening or about to happen, I will never let the past drift away. I am going to lace my fingers around it and bring it in front of me, I will never lose sight, I will never lose sight, I will never lose sight because I am already blind.

You are the alleyway where I beg for change, the way that the pavement is cold and the bricks are rough. You are what keeps me on my toes, always expectant, always unafraid. Were. Were. Were.

Sometimes I think of past tenses as just the past, and I think that I am not fighting with words, I am fighting with an entire portion of my life to stay in front of me. To be a song that I know all too well, every lyric imprinted in my mind, no more surprises, no more fear, you cannot fear what you already know.

I know you.

All or none

Posted on | September 20, 2009 | No Comments

My womb is empty.

And I am
finding myself
angry,
cynical,
and jealous.

No mans touch will tame me.

Muir

Posted on | August 17, 2009 | No Comments

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.
Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.
The winds will blow their own freshness into you,
and the storms their energy,
while cares will drop off the autumn leaves.

Yes Anastasia

Posted on | May 31, 2009 | No Comments

Thought she deserved no less than she'd give.

Thoughts

Posted on | May 11, 2009 | No Comments

Once I wanted to be the greatest.
To be fueled only by the soul,
intuition, passion, my love.
I want to write,
and I want people to read what I write.
I crave the simplicity you feel
at farmers markets & concerts,
an inexplicable bond
between the throngs.
I want to capture happiness
in a simple photograph.
But I am a restless woman,
an untamed river,
a feral cat.
I want to trust me.

I am...

Posted on | January 10, 2009 | No Comments

What I really want

Posted on | August 5, 2008 | No Comments

I met with the wedding planner/officiant today. It really is unfortunate that weddings provide so much stress. If we were to do it again I would elope. People become so worked up about boutonniere's, centerpieces, dj's, flowers, flowers, & more flowers. And pictures... oh dear pictures. We have met with so many photographers, it's too bad I cannot photograph my own wedding. Oh I now crave simplicity.

I just want this minimalistic life living in the woods with hiking & lovemaking, cooking & river rafting. I want to experience pregnancy & play music to my child while she grows in the womb. I want to read books and relearn the guitar. I will have morning coffee shortly after the sunrise and the sounds I will hear will only consist of nature. I will teach my child to appreciate the music of quaking aspen, the splendor of wildlife at it's root, and the feel of a cool river fed from mountain springs. She will shiver & smile, & I will laugh. I want to laugh throughout my life.

I've strewn off the subject. But I only write what I feel, and I am not feeling this wedding. Or perhaps I should say I am not feeling wedding planning. Something so meaningful should not be so much stress.