Lately...

Posted on | June 27, 2014 | 1 Comment

Lately we've been...

Loving every minute of this newborn period (because 2 months is still considered newborn, right?)
Preparing for my best childhood friend to come and also a visit to Washington, all in the month of July
Eager for the Oregon Country Fair and hoping it isn't too much work with a 3 month old & a 2.5 year old (gulp)
Enjoying the outdoors - we went on our first camping trip a week ago, and it brought in Juniper's 2 month birthday. Hazel didn't camp until 4 months, so this is a record indeed!
Catching up on some Game of Thrones and True Blood at night with my boy. Have I mentioned how much I love him working day shift now? He accepted a day shift position just after J was born!
Planning to go back to work, sometime in August
Grateful for sleep! Hazel has started falling asleep on her own without anyone else in her room as of late. This might not sound like much to some, but she co-slept with us until February and has needed one of us in her room to fall asleep since then. Now she happily talks to her stuffed animals & sings herself to sleep - it's so adorable. Juniper is also a great sleep, sleeping 4-6 hour stretches at night. I'd better knock on wood for now.

And now for some photo's!

Category: babywearing , Camping , Family , Oregon , outdoors

Newborn shoot & a new goal:

Posted on | June 12, 2014 | 3 Comments

It's come to my attention I've only posted 4 times since Juniper was born. Oops. On one hand I'm proud of this - I've been spending every spare minute with my sweet family. On the other hand, this blog is important to me, even if I'm the only one reading it. It's a small glimpse into this novel of mine, with chapters that are nearly six years in the making so far. I think it'll be a goal of mine from here on out to at least post once a week, if not more.

To start, I've been meaning to post a few of my favorites from Juniper's newborn shoot. She was only about 10 days old here. I'm in love with them!

As you can see in the above shots, Hazel is still enamored with her baby sister. She has never acted jealous or upset that since Junie is here, which amazes me beyond belief. She's so incredibly patient, I am one lucky mama.

To birth a soul, Juniper edition

Posted on | May 21, 2014 | 1 Comment

I've been meaning to write down Juniper's birth story for a month now, not wanting to forget a single detail. I wrote down Hazel's birth story just a few weeks after her birth, and I still love reading it (& it appears to be one of my most read posts of this blog). So although I didn't get on it as quick as last time (hello, toddler and newborn!), here it is. I hope you enjoy - sorry, it's a long one! ;)

...

Our culture is so trained to think of pregnancy and birth as a condition, something to be frightened of and controlled with medicine. Working with laboring women for the past 7 years, I've always found it interesting how differently women handle pain, especially from culture to culture. For example, a good majority of the hispanic women I see do not use pain medicine, and often smile and are quiet and polite up until the end. She'll then have a neighbor who is writhing & screaming in pain, begging for an epidural or even a cesarean at 3 cm. Why have we lost faith in our bodies ability to do the one thing it was meant to do? Television, movies, and even our best friends horrid birth stories have done this to us. If only we trained our minds to think of pregnancy & birth as a positive, joyful experience, can you imagine? I believe we can control our childbirth to a certain degree - Ina May and Hpnobabies taught me that last time, without a doubt. My first labor was quick & so incredibly self-empowering, and my goal was to make this second labor the same if not better. So I studied hypnobabies again, and also focused a bit more on eating a highly nutritious diet & getting more exercise than my first time around. Now let's get to the story.

To start this story off, a bit of history: our due date (or 'guess date' as hypnobabies refers to it) was April 17th, 2014. Throughout the last month of my pregnancy I had quite a bit of braxton hicks and felt as if the baby was going to come earlier than last time - Hazel arrived on our exact due date. At 38 weeks I was already effaced and 3 cm dilated, so I felt even more confident labor may come early. I stopped working at 39 weeks so as to enjoy a few remaining days with Hazel. The days came and went, and I felt pretty great. I stayed super active with hiking and swimming, and I enjoyed some family time I'll never forget. I was, however, a bit more impatient then I was with Hazel. I believe my impatience was mostly revolved around the uncertainty of when labor would happen and how we would arrange childcare for Hazel while we were at the birth center - multiple friends had volunteered but nothing was set in stone, as some friends could do nights and some couldn't, etc. Seeing that my first labor was only 6 hours long, I also was a bit nervous my second would go too quick. But I made it a priority to listen to my hypnobabies everyday, and listen to a 'fear clearing session' if I started to worry about all the what-if's regarding when it was going to happen.

I had an appointment with the midwife the day before we were due. She stripped my membranes, and I felt confident that may get something going. Later that evening we had people over for dinner, and I felt fine (albeit slightly disappointed that I felt so fine, haha). The next day was a Thursday, my official due date. It was a rainy day, and we decided to go to the pool so Hazel could swim & I could do laps. I swam for about an hour, which felt amazing and really seemed to help keep baby in a good position for birth (occiput anterior). I received quite a few comments at the pool, mostly "WHOA I can't believe you're swimming!" types of comments. Later that evening we had dinner as a family, and I noticed some regular pressure waves starting around 6 pm. By about 7 pm, they were getting stronger & closer together, so I went upstairs to shower and listen to my 'early birthing time' hypnobabies track. My waves at this point felt much like they did in early labor with Hazel, so I felt confident enough to text my midwife and tell our friends to come over in case this progressed. I put Hazel to bed - I still remember smiling & breathing through contractions while reading her bedtime stories - a memory I will always be fond of.

The night went on and by 10 pm I was feeling a bit discouraged. The contractions were still about every 3-5 minutes, but they were at the same intensity as they had been for the last few hours - still more intense than braxton hicks, but not the intensity of progressing labor I remembered from last time. Still, I continued listening to my birth tracks and using the ball. By about midnight I realized the contractions were still intense, but slowing to every 5-10 minutes. I was nervous to lay down as I didn't want to stop them completely, but my body was so incredibly exhausted so I decided listening to it was the best option. Also, hypnobabies stresses resting during your early birthing time - all the excitement of it finally happening hadn't allowed me to do that. Throughout the night I awoke every 20-30 minutes with a very strong wave, but then I'd drift back to sleep. I texted my midwife at 6 am (who unfortunately slept on her couch waiting all night, oops!) telling her things had slowed down & I was going to focus on resting for the time being. I also felt bad that we had had our friends stay the night at our house for Hazel, only to have nothing happen.

B brought me breakfast in the morning and then I slept for a few hours. He then brought Hazel to the river while I slept, as it was a beautiful day. My wonderful friend and fellow hypnomama texted me to see how I was doing later that morning. I told her I was okay. I broke down & told her I was discouraged and nervous, as this weird prodromal labor didn't happen the first time around. I verbalized some fears I hadn't let surface - was the baby too big, or in a bad position for birth, causing these go-nowhere contractions? Is Hazel going to be okay seeing me in labor, will she worry about me when she's gone? My friend simply listened and reassured me. She also encouraged me to do one final 'fear clearing session' on my hypnobabies cd, focus again on positioning of baby, and rest, rest, rest. After we talked I got online and looked up some spinning babies techniques (check out the website - I highly recommend!). Hazel and Brad then came home, and I asked to put Hazel down for a nap as I had felt bad I was away from her all morning. We snuggled and read books, and after she fell asleep I tried the 'forward leaning inversion' spinning babies technique. It basically creates more room in the lower uterine segment & can really help if the baby is malpositioned. After finishing that, I went to my room and listened to a fear-clearing session then took a nap (yes, another one haha - I was up half the night!).

I woke up nearly 3 hours later - gotta love the rare long toddler nap - and felt so much better, with much more energy. Brad asked what I felt like doing, and I told him I wanted to get outside and enjoy the sunshine and maybe get a little exercise. We decided to go on a little hike just down the road from us, a nice little trek along a canal and some farm fields. Driving to the destination (it was about 4 pm) I noticed that my pressure waves seemed to be coming back with the same intensity as the night before, about 5 minutes apart. B noticed this and asked if I was sure we should be hiking, and I told him of course and that I felt good! On our walk I was having to stop every few minutes to breathe and focus through each wave. I remember this fondly, as Hazel kept asking me "whatcha doing momma?" and I responded with "trying to get the baby to come out and meet us" Hazel cheerfully responded by singing her favorite Beatles lyrics - "good daaaaaay sunshine ... baby come out!" That song will forever make me smile and giggle inside.

On the way home from our walk we called our friend who had stayed the night before, as he was fishing on the river right by our house. We told him that it may be the real deal again, and that maybe he should come join us for dinner. We had taco night planned, and B was missing a key ingredient so I told him to run in the store while Hazel and I stayed in the car. We sang more 'good day sunshine' while daddy was shopping, and at one point an old woman came up to the car with a concerned look on her face, as she saw me close my eyes with hold my belly through a wave. A smiled at her, and she walked away slightly confused looking.

We got home a little after 5 pm, and I decided to text my midwife. She responded with encouragement and excitement, and told me to keep her updated. She said she'd be at the birth center when we're ready. Our friend Justin arrived (his poor wife had a migraine) at about 5:30, and by 6 we were eating. I had a few bites of taco, but the waves were very close together and I was at the point where I was needing to use the birth ball and be on hands and knees, as most of the pressure was in my back (same as with Hazel's labor). Hazel then asked about cookies. You see, we had been reading a book about when baby will come by Dr. Sears to Hazel, and there's a page where the big sis makes cookies with the person who is watching her. I'll never forget B helping set up the kitchen for cookie making and running back and forth between the kitchen and me (in the living room), as I at this point - 6:30 pm - was needing him to push on my hips to help relieve pressure. The cookies somehow melted together on the baking sheet, and turned into more of a cookie melt. I think the boys must've been nervous, haha.

7 pm came, and the waves seemed to be getting consistently stronger. Brad took me aside and said he thought we should leave. You see, one of my goals this time around was to arrive at the birth center earlier than I did with Hazel. Despite how great my first labor was, it was still a very intense experience going through transition in the car and arriving to the birth center at nearly 10 cm. I agreed, and we helped get Hazel set up with a bath and told the sitter of her bedtime routine. She blew us kisses, glad to have her uncle Justin to herself, and we were off by about 7:30.

The 25 minute car ride there was oddly enough a very peaceful experience for me. I got in the back seat and leaned forward into the front seat, closing my eyes with the pressure waves. I also decided to take out my hypnobabies tracks again, and this immediately calmed me & made the waves so much less intense. In between I would open my eyes and chat with Brad - he seemed a bit surprised by how normal and calm I was. The sun was beginning to set, and the light was so perfect as we drove along the Mckenzie River.

We arrived to the birth center a bit before 8 pm, and our midwife met us in the parking lot. We walked back to the same room Hazel was born in and I was immediately calmed - the memories of having her there came flooding back. In the windowsill was a vase (with a pink bow, by chance!) filled with flowers my sweet midwife picked around the birth center grounds while waiting for us to arrive - the smell of lilacs filled the room, always a favorite of mine. We chatted with my midwife about how I was feeling, and she asked if I wanted to be checked. I declined and we decided to fill up the birth tub, something I wanted to do last time but we had no time. I got in the tub and absolutely loved how amazing the warm water felt. About 15 minutes into being in the tub I noticed a slight increased rectal pressure with each pressure wave, and I hesitently asked to be checked as we were trying to decide when the nurse should come in. I told my midwife I was nervous to be checked, as I felt so calm and great so I was worried I wasn't dilated very far (we were laughing and sharing stories in between waves). My midwife asked what I hoped that I was - and I replied "6 or 7, but I doubt it" ... she then checked me, and I was 7 cm! Brad and I were delighted!

Taken in the tub, just found out we were 7 cm!

We next put a hypnobabies cd on in the room, and got a hold of my friend/fellow nurse/hypnobaby instructor Krystle. She agreed to come in for our birth instead of the on call nurse, which made me so excited and grateful, as I knew she'd be an amazing presence for me. I stayed in the tub for at least another half an hour, and my rock of a husband got in the tub with me to push on my hips with each wave, and keep me upbeat and laughing in between waves. Eventually our friend/nurse showed up, and she immediately started using some of the hypnobabies techniques to keep me even more calm with each wave - putting a hand on my shoulder, or my forehead. I hadn't reminded Brad to do these things, as I didn't think I'd need them - but holy cow, did they help! It was amazing how deeply I relaxed when she did this, and how amazing and normal I still felt between waves.

I'm guessing on the times now, but by about 9 pm I was feeling like the tub wasn't what my body needed at that time. We discussed options and I opted to try the walk in shower down the hall with a birth ball to sit on or use for different positions. All of us then walked into the shower room, and I remember giggling at the fact none of them seemed phased by the water that kept spraying them by accident. Brad at this point got totally soaked, as I used him to lean on with waves, and I was so amazed with how confident and amazingly supportive he was. We listened to the heart beat multiple times, and it was so strong & perfect which again gave me a boost of strength and excitement to continue. The baby also was so incredibly active though out my entire labor with constant kicks and hiccups - it was so reassuring, I never once worried about her well being. I stayed in the shower for probably at least 20-25 minutes, and I soon noticed increased bloody show. Shortly after this I started having quite a strong urge to push, and even pushing involuntarily during the peak of a wave. My midwife asked if I wanted to stay in the shower, or move back to the birth room, and I decided to warm up and move to the birth room.

We got in the birth room & the urge to push was even stronger. I got on the bed on all fours (how I delivered Hazel), and we put the ball on the bed so I could lean my upper body on it. At this point I was very internal with contractions, yet still surprised how calm I felt between waves. My husband snapped a few photos of me during this time - and I will forever cherish them. I was truly enjoying my labor, and you can see it in my face.

The urge to push continued, and I asked the midwife to check me as I felt something was holding me back from pushing despite so much pressure. She checked, and I was 9.5 cm. I grunted through a few contractions, and my water suddenly broke which was a surprisingly good feeling, followed by a MUCH stronger urge to push. It was probably 9:45 at this point, if I had to guess. We put on my 'pushing baby out' hypnobabies CD (again, didn't get to that last time), and I began pushing while on all fours sitting upright on my knees.

I pushed like this for 15 minutes or so, and as the baby came down I started to feel a bit overwhelmed by it all, the pressure was so intense. Looking back, it's funny that pushing was the most intense part of labor for me, as it was actually one of the easiest parts of labor with Hazel. A little after 10 pm I felt like I needed to immediately move to a better pushing position, and I ended up standing at the side of the bed with one leg up on a stool. Soon after moving to this position, I felt the baby begin to crown - something I actually didn't feel last time. This was intense but short lived, as she came out wailing with one final push. My midwife and husband both 'caught' the baby, and the first view I saw was of her privates while I happily yelled "it's another girl!" They handed her to me from behind, and I quickly got on the bed. Below are some of the photos snapped within the first few minutes after birth. My friend Krystle took these without me even asking, I will forever cherish them. Juniper Louise arrived at 10:10 pm. I was honestly very surprised she was a girl - I think I had it in my mind she was a boy because I was bigger this time around. Little did I know she was just a bigger little lady!

Our recovery at the birth center was quick and easy. My midwifes partner showed up about an hour after the birth with corned beef and whiskey, which we found SO thoughtful and sweet (and also funny, as it was sort of an inside joke as B had had a dream that my midwifes partner - who is also our friend - was his 'dudela' providing cured meats and whiskey during labor). We got a new nurse for the last few hours of our recovery - the actual on call nurse - so my friend could go home and sleep. Juniper was skin to skin and nursing like a champ for the first couple of hours, and we then weighed and measured her when she was ready. She was 8 lb 8 oz and 20 inches long - compare that to Hazel's 6 lb 14 oz and 19 inch long frame - the intense pushing/crowning part now made sense, haha! Pushing, however, was only half the time.

Flash didn't work here but I love Brad's face when we found out she was 8'8!

Recognize this shot, from hazel's birth?

We headed home shortly before 4 am after a catnap at the birth center, and once home our friend that watched Hazel met us at the door to congratulate us and meet baby Junie. I went to bed around 5 am and rested with Juniper for a few hours. Little sis came in after breakfast at about 8 am and was absolutely ecstatic, immediately saying how much she loves her. We snapped some photos of their first meeting - it was truly awesome.

So there it is, folks. Did you make it to the end? Reflecting on this birth I feel so blessed and lucky to have had such an amazing experience. I can truly say I enjoyed labor and birth, I want to tell everyone about it so they can feel the same way! I'm eternally grateful for my hypnobabies training and most importantly my rock Brad, my empowering and supportive midwife, and my wonderful friend and rockstar of a nurse/doula - I couldn't have asked for a better birth team.

Category: Birth , Family , hypnobabies , Juniper , Love , pregnancy

A new lady in town:

Posted on | May 8, 2014 | 2 Comments

Hello my friends - long time no blog! I've been blissed out in baby (& toddler) land, it's been too hard to pull myself away to update here. But alas here I am. Things have been amazing since Juniper has arrived. Hazel has been great with her and really hasn't had any behavior changes except maybe a bit more sensitive, but overall she's been the happiest big sis. I've felt great - it's seemed to be a much easier postpartum period for me, as it seemed to take forever to heal and get energy after Hazel was born. I did placenta encapsulation this time (gasp!) and am wondering if that has something to do with my better energy level perhaps? I've fallen even more in love with B, if that's possible, since Junie's arrival. From her labor & birth to these first couple of weeks, he's been my rock & so amazingly supportive and helpful. He's also helped ease the transition for Hazel in a huge way - marrying a good father was the best choice I've ever made! Below is a few of my favorite shots from Juniper's first two weeks. I plan to write her birth story very soon & am so excited to share it - stay tuned.