Quotable & Poetry Tuesday:
Posted on | February 26, 2013 | 1 Comment
It feels so odd re-living old notebooks from my early to late teens, but I am enjoying it at times. There are parts of me that are still a part of that girl, but a larger part of me that is this woman with so much more purpose, drive, and love in my life. My teens were spent feeling a bit out of place and I was a bit of an 'old soul' compared to my peers. Below is a poem I wrote in 2002'ish.
...
open
life is
not only
about love.
it's about
the sunset,
writing poetry,
& listening
to music
like it's
fucking
oxygen.
maybe i'm
just an ant
among the
throng of
others, but
why can
no one see?
...
At first this got me feeling a bit defensive that yes life is only about love. I am so full with all the love in my life! But next it got me thinking that I am still this person with my own interests, passions, and an indelible past worth remembering. Sometimes I forget that I am more than a mother. Even writing that feels funny.
But being a mother & a unique person can coexist, right? My dear b has been telling me this for months but I couldn't see. I guess it takes a sixteen year old April to let it sink in.
I think one of these days I'll leave the man & girl home to photograph the sunset and as I drive home I'll blast my favorite band on full volume. I may think of dear h a majority of the time, but I will look back & appreciate this time to cultivate my passions. Because life is about me too, every once in a while.
Other mommas - how do you keep the balance of motherhood & feeding your own passions?
Comments
- April
- I am a RN & natural momma in the Pacific Northwest, married to a beautiful man I adore. Nature is my niche, animals get me. I read and I write, I hike and I love photography. Welcomed our daughter Hazel Annan earthside in February 2012 after three years of infertility & our second miracle daughter Juniper Louise in April 2014.
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February 27, 2013 at 12:17 PM
lovely poem, and so true! It took me a long time (too long) to realize that I still has to be me, even while being a mother. I think I am a better mother when I am also doing things for me.
I think so much of it is about making sure to set aside time for yourself... to hang with friends, take a class, or photograph the sunset and listen to your favorite band. Make sure you give yourself that time, even when you feel like you don't have it.
When they are little, it is hard not to feel guilty about leaving them, but I always seem to love my kids so much more once I have had a little break and time to do what I wanted.
Have fun!