Lost and found
Posted on | January 20, 2013 | 1 Comment
I've been feeling kind of lost lately. There's been a lot of mis-communication in these parts, from work to my back injury to home life, and I'm finding the only consistent happiness in my life these days in little Hazel. It's odd, feeling lost yet so grounded & happy at the same time. I didn't know that was possible.
I've been indulging in old poetry to help me explore my emotions. I had notebooks full of old poems, and even an online diary that I wrote in through my late teens/early 20's (write me for the password, if so inclined). I have books filled with favorite poets that inundate my hope chest. Some people don't get it.
One poem I came across today, written by Gary Snyder, I read again and again. This used to be one of my favorites & it briefly brought me to a different time. Not better at all, just different. Probably not a time I'd like to re-visit.
December at Yase
You said, that October,
In the tall dry grass by the orchard
When you chose to be free,
“Again someday, maybe ten years.”
After college I saw you
One time. You were strange.
And I was obsessed with a plan.
Now ten years and more have
Gone by: I’ve always known
where you were—
I might have gone to you
Hoping to win your love back.
You still are single.
I didn’t.
I thought I must make it alone. I
Have done that.
Only in dream, like this dawn,
Does the grave, awed intensity
Of our young love
Return to my mind, to my flesh.
We had what the others
All crave and seek for;
We left it behind at nineteen.
I feel ancient, as though I had
Lived many lives.
And may never now know
If I am a fool
Or have done what my
karma demands.
But for now I must regain focus on my sweet hubby and perfect H.
Because things always turn out alright.
...
I think I'll start posting old/new poetry of mine & other poets to satiate this need of mine. Poetry Tuesday - what do you think?
...
I think I'll start posting old/new poetry of mine & other poets to satiate this need of mine. Poetry Tuesday - what do you think?
Comments
- April
- I am a RN & natural momma in the Pacific Northwest, married to a beautiful man I adore. Nature is my niche, animals get me. I read and I write, I hike and I love photography. Welcomed our daughter Hazel Annan earthside in February 2012 after three years of infertility & our second miracle daughter Juniper Louise in April 2014.
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January 23, 2013 at 10:55 PM
Beautiful poem. Sometimes I can get really overwhelmed with nostalgia especially when life gets tough.
I have had my share of feeling lost lately too. Maybe it is just a sign of change and change is always kind of hard,even when it is good.
Thank you for your kind works on my blog.