This never faltering cycle of mine

Posted on | October 8, 2010 | 1 Comment

Lately I've been breathing in the autumn air, filling my days with thoughts on decor and aromatic pumpkin treats.  I'm giving this whole autumn thing a chance.  I'm even having an 'autumn themed' housewarming party at the end of the month; very Martha Stewart if I do say so myself.

But you need to know one thing about autumn and I - we've never had a good relationship.  She's cold and wet, always bringing loss and reminders of what's to come.  Perhaps it's my days in Michigan that started this tedious relationship of ours.  But here I am, playing along.



And so here we are, yet again.  No child to pose in front of the pumpkin patch, my evenings spent alone wanting to bake for more than just two.  The decorations overflowering & family so far away, the holidays are always the hardest.

I am thankful. I'm with a good man that I love; I still write him love notes & wear his sweatshirts when he is not around. But please tell me how I am supposed to reinvent our life?  A life of just two.

Comments

One Response to “ This never faltering cycle of mine ”

  1. emily b.
    October 12, 2010 at 4:06 PM

    i am loving every bit of your martha stewartness!! as soon as we got back from our trip, there was a pottery barn catalogue waiting and i thought of you!! tell me, does anything seem more divine than a faux sheepskin tree skirt? i mean, not one that costs anywhere near $100 (c'mon PB!) but maybe i can find me a makeshift one :)

    i think extending an olive branch to autumn is very big of you :) and i always think of it as shedding all of the year's troubles/frustrations/etc...kinda like the trees losing their leaves. as for the reinventing..girl, i've got no clue. last night i made pumpkin pie because i just had to. it was the best part of my day and got my mind off of all of everything.

    i know i always say it but i figure it's always worth saying :) we'll have our own little pumpkins someday. who knows why this path has to be so friggin hard. who knows why people who will be the best parents are denied that. i just have to believe we will have our chance.

    love you!!

    p.s. and i'll email you later, i haven't forgotten! :)

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