My facade
Posted on | July 28, 2010 | 5 Comments
Yesterday as I was perusing string lights in Pier 1, an affable clerk started a conversation with me. After an extensive talk on vases and this weekend's sale, it somehow got brought up that I am a labor and delivery nurse. The clerk became a giddy child on christmas morning. You see, this woman is a nursing student and it is her dream job. I simply smiled, silently questioning my innate frustration of my career. All I could respond was, "yeah... it's fun."
Lately I have been playing the part. Throughout the week I have had numerous meetings and classes; and I smile, engage in conversations, bring in coffee cake and pretend to care about my coworker's seven children. On the floor I've been hanging blood, promoting skin-to-skin, titrating drips, educating & training, helping a mother grieve. But I'm not there, really. I have the knowledge and am entirely competent, yet I feel so drained, counting the minutes until my next day off. And that's not okay (is it?).
I've never understood the type of people that "love their job." I simply want to ask them -- really? [Insert the profoundly exaggerated and drawn out reeeeeaaaaalllly? here, or so b says.] I once read a study that took a group of German folks and asked about job satisfaction. It concluded that those that are unhappiest at their jobs are happiest overall in life.
So maybe I will chalk it down to my happy life - because I do love my life, to be honest (and hey, I could be flippin' burgers at McDonalds!). But I also consider that it may be the population I work with who unconsciously remind me of my difficulty procreating (something my 44 year old patient last night made look SO easy).
What do you think? Do you love your job and/or the post it below?
Comments
- April
- I am a RN & natural momma in the Pacific Northwest, married to a beautiful man I adore. Nature is my niche, animals get me. I read and I write, I hike and I love photography. Welcomed our daughter Hazel Annan earthside in February 2012 after three years of infertility & our second miracle daughter Juniper Louise in April 2014.
July 28, 2010 at 7:49 PM
ahhhh... the question of life. Can one really love both their job and their life?
I think so. But only when you are happy in life. I don't think you can love your job without being happy in your life.
can you tell I've been thinking about this as well?
I say this because I was/am the person that says "I LOVE MY JOB!". obviously, I loved it because I was hating life outside of my job. what else did I have to cling on to?
I think that once you are happy with who you are, where you are and life in general... it really doesn't matter where you work or what you do, you will be happy.
I have accpeted this: "what I do does not define me, only what I am"
Sometimes I think that I would be happier doing what I want in life, making life beautiful and happy, and just working in a coffee shop. I really might be a better person.
Currently I am stressed at my job. But I say to people that it's worth it, because I like what I do. that is not the same as "loving my job", I don't think. I enjoy the people around me, being apart of something big and feeling valued. It's because I feel valued that I make what I do "worth" it. But I think you could have any of those feelings anywhere you wanted.
It's the life part that counts.
and you are there, so now you can do whatever you want.
whatever makes you "completely" happy :)
July 28, 2010 at 7:52 PM
P.S.
I love the new pictures at the top :)
AND I MISS YOU!
July 28, 2010 at 8:44 PM
I really do love my job. I am a NICU RN and I have only been doing this for 6 months. I haven't had time to become jaded nor have I experienced death at work. I still have that wide-eyed sense of wonder when I go to work. Now I'm not saying that I love every single second that I'm there, because that's just not true. I don't really enjoy the people I work with, so I guess there is the trade off.
This is a second career for me and I do a lot of comparing between nursing and what I did for 15 years previously. It's like night and day. My stress level is less and I sit down more now than I ever did as a pharmacy tech.
My patients can't talk to me or berate me if I don't get an IV on the first stick or I'm taking a little longer to do something. They never complain. It's great. I always look forward to going in, but only after I've had 4 days off!
July 28, 2010 at 10:21 PM
Katie - I responded to your comment on "margins of my book" post I wrote. Check it out - it talks about that coffee shop we should seriously consider someday. :)
Chickens - I'm so happy that you've found such happiness in your career. It's nice to also compare it to not-so-nice careers, which I find myself forgetting about sometimes.
And don't get me wrong - I do not by any means hate my job. I actually love my coworkers, my patients, love being a labor coach, and I feel so priveledged to be in such a intimate part of people's lives. But OB is the most highly litigated area of nursing - which stresses me out. I also get frustrated with the overall view americans have on birth, the lack of education, the OB's that think with their "surgeon" mind.
I've worked in NICU as well, which I agree was awesome. I hope you continue having such a wonderful attitude about your career. :)
July 29, 2010 at 5:25 PM
I've been a L&D nurse for 10 years now. I used to love my job, and sometimes I have moments when it is still the greatest job on earth. But these days, I am bogged down by low staffing, and being overworked and underpaid.