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March 23, 2010
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April '05: the snow was melting & the sun never stopped rising. We walked to lake superior, not hiding a thing in our back pockets or dark minds. We touched hands while trekking the lighthouse break wall. I told him of my dream to photograph distant lands, heal, and write. I told him of my hurt. He told me of the realities of his long life & I only wished I had been there. We wrote short stories and poetry for one another, played guitar while sipping ale. He said I inspired him to be a better man; and he in turn inspired me.
But lately I've been thinking, what once inspired him? I need to remember these things, to keep check with myself. Adult life is too precise, too planned. I miss the dreamer I once was.
So here is what I know, what I remember:
I love to feel every moment, to never take life for granted. I am serene while in the presence of nature, like the mankind exists simply for this sensation.
And can my dear B fathom when I am with him not only my mind but my body is serene; he is my lake & I want to swim and watch the sun rise & fall on his waters, to build a life here. I fear I don't express that. Does he recall that music is a powerful part of who I am? I have been shaped by various artists & notes. I just close my eyes, smile, and connect. I always will.
Here is one thing I have forgotten, and is a bit of a secret: I will always turn to writing. I have notebooks full of who I am, pain and joy down to the core. I am a mess of metaphors & analogies, and I would like to share this part of me with him. I don't want to lose it.
And my dreams. Oh, my dear dreams. I want to experience other cultures, to help those with nothing, to feed children, to make others smile. I want to educate the underprivledged in South America, to treat pregnant mothers with AIDS in Africa, to dance and speak another tongue. I want to photograph these adventures.
I just want us remember who I am - my hopes, dreams, and truths. I am this strong woman with an old soul & a young body. I strive to always gain knowledge and to appreciate even the most trivial, mundane parts of daily life. I love nature & music, and you can bet that I will forever be a dreamer. And last but certainly not least, I am happy to share this life with someone who gets the girl on the breakwall. This complex but so simple woman, me.
Comments
March 23, 2010 at 4:11 PM
i love this! it is so important to take stock of what is within us and stay true to that. this is a beautiful reminder :)
xo, em
March 25, 2010 at 11:37 AM
The house in the snow looks like those fantastic lighthouse picture.
Thanks
March 26, 2010 at 8:01 AM
You inspire me, my dear friend.
Your words, your pictures, your beautiful soul... your words remind me of who I am or what I strive to be.
I love you and cannot wait to see you!
March 26, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Thanks so much :)
Ps: To my anonymous Californian - it is a lighthouse!