Neener Neener

Posted on | October 19, 2009 | 1 Comment

From a great blog, http://www.natthefatrat.com

Hey all you pregnant people! GUESS WHAT.

I can eat all the sushi I want! Neener neener neener!

What's that? You can't ride roller coasters or go on a cruise? Guess what? I CAN!

I can also dye my hair, drink, take hot tubs, eat deli meat and soft cheeses, heck, I can go to an effing clam bake and eat all the raw oysters I can stuff in my gullet, so there! Ha ha!

There's more! I can eat soft serve ice cream, I can see my toes! I don't have to pee every second, I have a defined waist! What else... oh! No stretch marks here, baby! My boobs? Perfectly un-swollen and non-leaky! No tenderness there AT ALL! I sure do feel sorry for you! You AND your swollen feet, LA-DE-DAH!

WHO'S THE SUCKER NOW!?!

I'm not sad, I'm ANGRY. Like, I kind of have the urge to punch a car. A big car! Like a Hummer maybe. I'm not emotional or weepy, I'm balls-out PISSED. I'll take this grief, and I'll pummel it, into a million, tiny pieces, BAM BAM BAM.

THAT'S how I feel. You can take your babies, your kids, and your cute pregnant tummies, and you can SUCK IT.

THAT'S HOW I FEEL.