Guest post: Parenthood Unprocessed
Posted on | October 14, 2013 | 1 Comment
While I'm away in Italy I asked a few friends/fellow bloggers if they would help keep Pleasure in the Pathless Woods running, and they all agreed! A might thank you to each of you!
My next guest post is by a good friend and fellow blogger, Abby. Abby keeps a blog over at Parenthood: Unprocessed. Abby lives in the same town as I do, and we had babes about 6 weeks apart from one another. We met through a local 'natural mommas'group when our girls were just wee ones, and have become good friends since. You'll notice as you read more about her that we're a lot like, which is lovely to find someone so like minded. She decided to do a q&a style post to learn a bit more about her. Thanks Abby!
I was so happy to be invited to write a guest blog post for one
of my favorite people! Thanks to April for thinking of me. I am Abby, mother to
an 18-month old, spunky and sweet little girl, Althea. Althea’s daddy, Scott,
has been my best friend for ages. He is a great father and a light in both of lour lives. Althea is definitely a daddy’s girl! We like to enjoy nature
together as a family, and spend time when we can going on walks, hiking,
camping, traveling and being outdoors. We love to work in the yard and garden,
and Althea has taken on this interest right along with us. Getting dirty is one
of her favorite activities! We love food and enjoy both cooking and going out
to eat (we haven’t been going out as often recently... doesn’t work so well
with a toddler!). Scott and I enjoy wine and beer tasting. We are animals
lovers, have a dog and a cat, and Althea adores them. They are both very
tolerant! Some of my personal favorite hobbies are exercise/yoga, photography
and sewing/quilting. I am also part-time a Licensed Marriage and Family
Therapist (LMFT) at a non-profit agency. Motherhood is everything to me and the
most important part about my identity.
My next guest post is by a good friend and fellow blogger, Abby. Abby keeps a blog over at Parenthood: Unprocessed. Abby lives in the same town as I do, and we had babes about 6 weeks apart from one another. We met through a local 'natural mommas'group when our girls were just wee ones, and have become good friends since. You'll notice as you read more about her that we're a lot like, which is lovely to find someone so like minded. She decided to do a q&a style post to learn a bit more about her. Thanks Abby!
...
Tell us about your parenting
'style'?
In terms of parenting, we do what works for us. I am a big
believer in being informed about all of our decisions as parents, so we do our
research and make choices based on what we learn. We tend to “lean” toward
attachment, natural, and gentle parenting ideas. Babywearing was a huge part of
the first year of Althea’s life, we are still breastfeeding with no end in
sight, we co-sleep, we cloth diaper, we take a cautious view on immunizations,
prioritize organic whole foods and use natural products. Becoming a parent has
also really encouraged us to make the best choices for ourselves as
individuals, related to healthy eating and avoiding toxins in daily life. Also,
Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn is one of my new favorite books since
becoming a mom. Our perspective on discipline: diligent and kind guidance,
teaching, and support.
Where are you from? How has that shaped you?
Scott and I are both from Lincoln, Nebraska. We went to high
school together! I have lots of memories of cruising around Lincoln with Scott
when we were sixteen. So much nostalgia! Both of our families still live in
Lincoln, so we make visits when we can. Scott and I have always talked about
how we are the kind of people who look strangers in the eye and greet them with
a smile and “hello.” It’s a simple thing, but you don’t always get that from people
wherever you go. I think the Nebraska lifestyle instilled that general
friendliness in us, and we value that. It’s not hard to find friendly people in
Nebraska! When we say we’re from Nebraska, people assume we grew up on a farm.
Lincoln is actually almost twice the size of Eugene, so we are definitely
“city” folk.
Is your family supportive of
your attachment parenting style?
For the most part, yes. We have certainly received some
questions along the way, but it has been mostly out of curiosity rather than
with a critical eye. Sometimes I assume people are being judgmental, even if
they don’t say anything. I am trying to let that go, because usually people
tend to be supportive (our families know we make informed decisions!), and if
they are judging us internally for our choices, I feel that is not really our
problem to worry about. I would rather spend my energy on something more
important. We are definitely making different parenting choices than some of
our family members, though, and are thankful to live in a community where we
are surrounded by many others who take a similar approach to parenting as we
do.
Where do you see yourself in
10 years?
Good question. I am such a planner! More than ever before, since
becoming a mom, I have realized that life doesn’t turn out how you plan. Since
I can remember, I was certain that I was going to get my PhD in psychology or
family therapy. That was a lifelong dream of mine until Althea was born. It’s
not as though I let go of that dream because I had to; instead, it just isn’t
what I want in life anymore. I am not the career-oriented person I once was. I
do enjoy my job and it is very purposeful for me, but I want as much time as
possible to be a mom and that is what I care about most. It’s amazing to me
when I say aloud that I have no intention of going back to school for my
doctorate, because at one point this was my number one goal in life. That said,
in 10 years, I imagine that I will (hopefully) have at least one more child, I
will be actively involved in my kids’ schooling (either by volunteering at
school or perhaps homeschool), I hope to have a balance between motherhood and
time to take care of myself individually, and will likely (another hope!) have
a private practice as an LMFT. I have also always hoped and dreamed that I will
be able to utilize a creative endeavor as a way to make a small income on the
side (perhaps through sewing or writing). In 10 years, I also hope we will be
making headway on our goal to eventually live on an acreage and live more
self-sustainably. But, hey, I’m open to the idea that all of this may change!
What have you found the greatest
struggle of motherhood? Greatest joy?
It is a challenge to stay in touch with my
individual self now that I am a mother. I have lost touch with some friends who
don’t have children and I don’t participate in my beloved hobbies the way I
used to. There are days when this isn’t a bother to me and I very much embrace
my role as a mom. Other days, I feel a lot of grief at the loss of my
connection to these things. I am operating under the belief that as life goes
on, it will become more balanced. Having an 18-month old is a lot of work, and
as Althea gets older, there will be more time in our lives for “adult”
activities. For the first year of Althea’s life, I had no desire to leave her
side and I didn’t feel bad about it. As more time passes, date nights have a
lot more appeal to me again. We have been on 3 dates since Althea was born and,
wow, have they been fun! I recently attended an exercise class 1-2 times a week
for two months, and there was a certain amount of guilt I felt every time I
left Althea to go to the class. I think I’m ready to sign up for a yoga class
again someday soon. I know logically that taking care of myself is important,
but it is sometimes very difficult to justify it on an emotional level. Time with my
girl is just so precious and valuable.
There are so many “greatest joys” related to motherhood! One of
the best things ever is being a witness to life through the eyes of Althea. I
am awed constantly about how fast she grows and learns. I love being able to
guide and teach her about new things everyday. I value her innocence
tremendously and she is a reminder about the importance of simplicity in life.
She is unconditional love. Nothing
is more meaningful than knowing that the love between Scott and I, is what
created our daughter and that she is a part of both of us. It is my greatest
joy that we are forever bound as a family.
What kind of favorite natural/herbal remedies does your family swear by?
I want to expand my knowledge and use of natural and herbal remedies. I swear by probiotics and how this contributes to general health. Althea and I both take them daily as prevention. Also, at the first sign of illness or if those around me are sick, I start eating raw garlic and ginger by the handfuls. It works! Usually I stay healthy, and if I get sick it typically doesn’t last long. Many people tell me they can’t stomach raw garlic, but it works for me thankfully. We took a workshop last year and learned how to make elderberry syrup. We made enough to last the entire winter, and I love that stuff. Just like raw garlic, we take it at the first sign of illness and throughout or as prevention. The best natural cold medicine!
My mom has osteoarthritis and I fear that I might have this destiny also, because I’ve struggled with joint pain for as long as I can remember. I recently started taking Turmeric as a supplement and I swear it reduces the pain I experience in my knees. I’m a believer already! Read up on turmeric; it is being highly researched right now and scientists are discovering lots of benefits to health!
Basically, we believe in having a clean diet of as many organic whole foods as possible. We have gotten so much better at this since Althea was born and I love eating this way. I believe we are healthier and have more energy as a result.
Tell us about your home
birth. Is there anything you'd do
differently?
Our home birth was an amazing experience and we received the best
care I could ever fathom with our
midwife. Althea was born into warm water in a tub in our living room. Our
midwife had the utmost confidence in my ability to labor and deliver a healthy
baby. She gave Scott and I both information and knowledge throughout our
pregnancy so that we could make empowered decisions. I wouldn’t do it any
differently! It was too good. And, I delivered a 9lb 14oz baby naturally in the
comfort of my own home, after a fast and furious 6 hour labor!
Any other great passions besides motherhood?
I’m seriously a feminist. I was born this way and it means a lot
to me. It has everything to do with who I am and how I exist in the world. I
have always been very aware about how our culture puts males and females into
“boxes” with expectations about which behaviors are and aren’t acceptable for
each sex. I really wish and dream for true equality, but we have a long way to
go. It really applies to motherhood, because it is a huge influence on how
Scott and I are choosing to raise our child. It is vastly important to me that
Althea develop a strong foundation of confidence for herself and that she knows
whole-heartedly that being a girl/woman makes her no less of a value to
society.
How has motherhood changed you?
Motherhood has brought profound changes to my life that are hard to describe with words. I feel more comfortable in my own skin now than before I was a mom. Petty things in life matter a lot less now and simple moments witnessing my daughter explore and experience new things, matter the most. I have a new perspective about what family means and my number one daily goal is to show my daughter love and light and to guide her through her process of becoming the person she is destined to be.
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Comments
- April
- I am a RN & natural momma in the Pacific Northwest, married to a beautiful man I adore. Nature is my niche, animals get me. I read and I write, I hike and I love photography. Welcomed our daughter Hazel Annan earthside in February 2012 after three years of infertility & our second miracle daughter Juniper Louise in April 2014.
October 14, 2013 at 8:21 PM
I wish I lived close enough to be in your mommy group. I think I would love to be with some similar-minded mommies! I'm middle of the road in many ways, but I tend in these directions on a number of things, and I don't know a lot of moms who feel quite like I do!