Word of 2014: Embrace

Posted on | January 4, 2014 | 4 Comments

So I've been thinking about this resolution thing.  It's seemed daunting and silly to make resolutions when so much will be changing this year: namely, adding a sweet soul to our family.  Of course I'm not going to lose weight (well, likely after April I will), start an exercise regime, or devote myself to a new craft, hobby, or bountiful garden.  And then I focused on what I'd like to change right now to make our lives better, bring more joy.  I came up with embracing the moment.

Embrace: my 2014 word, I guess you could say.

You see, the last month or two I've gotten self conscious about this pregnancy, my body, and my capability to care for two babes.  I'm bigger than I was with Hazel (actually I weigh less, but my belly is larger, however that happens?).  I've already had people ask if I'm due soon, if it's twins, etc... when will people ever learn?  I remember with Hazel I embraced every inch I grew, even the stretch marks on my thighs, as it meant I was growing a strong healthy babe.  This time I just feel tired, sore, & fat.  Yes I said it, the horrible word I never want my daughter to hear or feel - fat.  My infertile self of 2008-2011 is upset, actually angry that I am being vain & whiny about being pregnant.  Not everyone gets this chance, we were so close to not getting it at one point in our life.  I remember it like yesterday.  My husband reminded me of this the other day when I was bitching about his father telling me I'm "much bigger than last time."  It shut me up immediately, and infertile April smirked while applauding B.

So here it goes, embrace.  I will embrace this growing body of mine, the sore back & the pounds gained as this is likely my last pregnancy.  I will embrace two babies, give all the love I have but not fret if I'm not perfect.  I will embrace my marriage, appreciating my man who is so lovely and also so supportive of our parenting style and my birth choices.  I will embrace Hazel's current stage and stop worrying if she's talking enough, not potty trained, etc.  I will embrace snuggling in bed with her knowing it'll be the last time it's only us for the next few months.  I will embrace reading 'everyone poops' for the gazzillionth time, but also laugh if she pees all over the carpet, because someday she'll close that bathroom door and not need my help.  I want to get excited for this birth, and focus my time on this baby in my belly so I can prepare and feel ready.  Embrace, embrace, embrace.

So as my first step to embracing, I will share my first and second trimester's with all of you in the photos below.

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