Inspiration
Posted on | February 24, 2010 | 1 Comment
Hello, dear blog, you must be feeling lonely. I have been in this place between working like a dog and worrying like my mother. It's a very uncomfortable place, leaving little room for words or tranquil thoughts. Working has been good in a sense - people are having babies again, which directly correlates with my paycheck. And worrying has been related to our accepted offer on a house. It's a good thing, really. Right? Oh the unanswered questions.
But I have had other thoughts admist the work and worry. I've had a few very hippy, grass-roots, patients that I spent hours conversing with over the last few days. My patient last night talked with me about life without television or news, just novels and music, and how empowering it is. My coworkers of course laughed at her - but I was secretely inspired. I love to read, and lord knows I would read and write more if there wasn't a tv constantly blaring. Oh how I miss writing. I used to write like my life depended on it. I remember being eighteen years old & the incredibly close relationship I had with my creative writing & poetry teacher - she enscribed 'Never stop writing - it will kill you' on my notebook the last day of class. And I do feel a bit empty in a sense. I started this blog to write, yet the inspiration wasn't there.
So, a big thank you to my patient, Tori Amos (my current nostalgic as ever playlist), and miss Emily B. I have been reminded of inspiration. I will take the time to read more novels and turn off that idiot box of mine (baby steps, of course). I will remember what is real and important, and I will write.
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- April
- I am a RN & natural momma in the Pacific Northwest, married to a beautiful man I adore. Nature is my niche, animals get me. I read and I write, I hike and I love photography. Welcomed our daughter Hazel Annan earthside in February 2012 after three years of infertility & our second miracle daughter Juniper Louise in April 2014.
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February 25, 2010 at 9:14 AM
aww, you're so welcome! :) i used to fill up journal after journal with poems in high school but now...it's work just to get one out every now and again. perhaps you will inspire me to write more poetry and spend less time zoning out to olympic curling :)
also, yay on the house!!! so exciting!! it's so nerve-wracking. we were excited but sick to our stomachs. like, what did we get ourselves into. and are we sure. and all of that stuff. but it really is exciting :) i'm so happy for you guys!!
as for our answered questions, basically we were told it would be near impossible for us to get pregnant on our own. which is hard to hear but good to know, ya know? next month we're attempting our first iui and my only goal is to not get ahead of myself...haha, yeah right. but, that's where it stands right now. my dr has told us there are so many options and so now we just work our way through them. so, i'm feeling hopeful and a lot less like we failed. because that failure feeling...one of the worst feelings i know. thank you for being here for me :) it is incredibly comforting to talk to someone who really knows what i'm going through :)
xoxoxoxoxo, em